Thursday, March 02, 2006

Random Thoughts


Kristel Iris G. Estrellado

Happy birthday to me


It’s been 40 years since I first saw lights in this world. Funny, thinking that the light I must have seen is the artificial light inside the Catipon’s Clinic where my mon gave birth to me. Sometimes, I can’t help but despise the use of figurative languages or idiomatic expressions cause they connote double meaning. It’s been 40 years since I was born. It’s been 26 years since I learned the saying that life begins at 40. To be exact, I was in second year high school when I learned the saying under Miss Dijan, my English teacher at Laguna College who also happened to be my favorite teacher. Since then,I always look forward to being one.
A very simple saying that can easily be understood. But why is it that I cannot comprehend completely what it means. I really don’t understand why life has to start after 40 years of being born. What have happened to those who died before they reach that age? They died without having experienced how it is to live? I am forty now and I don’t want to die. Not yet. I must admit, the excitement that the saying brought me, made me want to reach this age. My life is just about to start. I have been waiting for this time to come. I am just about to digest the meaning of the saying that resided in my mind for so long.
Art has been my passion. Writing is one form of it. As a writer, I was conceived and developed in the hands of my mentor, my inspiration and my friend (can’t divulge who she is). She exposed me to a lot of challenges that brought me successes as well as defeats. Both results made me a better person (interest wise). This is my first issue as a columnist and I believe I owe everyone an explanation. My random thoughts, after confined in my mind now has an avenue to reach every door. I think a lot. I think about everything. You will be surprised because sometimes I even think of the most nonsense things. But out of this nonsense, I also learn. How much more if we talk sense?
I am a horse. I move fast. I don’t run. I leap. My lola told me that when I was a child, I did not start walking. I ran. She told me the story with delight in her eyes. I am rare, so she thought. I am impatient, so I think. Looking back, I convinced myself that I am correct with the way I assessed myself. I can’t wait to reach my dreams. I can’t wait to do what I want. And in being so, I work. I work hard and with determination and dedication.
I am forty and my life as a journalist has just begun. That’s the promise hidden in the saying I have been thinking and mumbling, for 26 years, I feel invigorated! And just like any newborn babies, I feel so dependent. Dependent on issues around me, on many interesting topics. These will serve as my food as a journalist. I want to grow, I want to become a better writer. I will leap. I will leap as a responsible journalist. This is want I want to be.
It’s really a happy birthday to me!

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